


The Gnarsh

by PeanuutFlower



Series: Silly Stories [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack I guess, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Lance doesn't approve, Little bit of angst, M/M, beware of cute, could it really be called angst though, what to tag, yeah Slav admires Lance's grandma's beauty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 23:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11367684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeanuutFlower/pseuds/PeanuutFlower
Summary: Slav and Coran just wanted some milk.OrA little furry creature causes havoc on the ship.





	The Gnarsh

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be 200 words max.  
> It isn't.  
> Oh well.  
> I wrote this in 2 hours. I think.  
> Here you go.
> 
> -  
> I didn't proof read this work, so should you see any mistakes (I'm sure there's plenty), don't be afraid to tell me in the comments.

It was a rainy day on the planet the castle was currently staying on. They had received a distress call and had immediately set a course for that planet called Mimiw, home to little creatures with eyes so big you would think their eyesight would be better than the one they actually had.

It turned out the reason they called wasn't that critical. A bunch of their soldiers had fallen into the depths of one of the caves that made the planet's surface look like some holed cheese at times, and couldn't rescue them because they didn't have any kind of technology that would have helped.

The team had been dealing with a lot of calls for worse situations, so they gladly took the job and brought the soliders to the surface, using the healing pods to treat those who had hurt themselves in the fall.

The inhabitants had then held a party in their honor, deep in the forest they usually lived in, to show their gratitude. Lance and Hunk may or may not have gotten married without them knowing by sharing a plate of food, though it had been short-lived as divorce apparently consisted of spitting said food in each other's faces, which they immediately did after they realized just how bad it tasted.

Allura had been discussing alliances and diplomacy with the president of that region while Pidge had been picking the younger ones' interest by using her laptop to collect data on the planet, and Keith had spent most of his time off to the side, looking at everyone having fun, a drink in hand, up until Lance had came by and had taken him by his arm to force him to “loosen up a little” and dance with him. Keith had voiced his protests, but the discreet blush on his face and his small smile had contradicted the words coming out of his mouth.

They had stayed up way into the night, and when they made their way back to the castle the dwarf star of this system was slowly making its way up into the horizon.

At this very moment, the star wasn't visible, hidden by an impressive amount of clouds presenting different hues for all kinds of eyes to look upon and admire. Lance had been doing exactly that, but had gotten bored and was now scrolling through his phone's pictures, silently thanking Pidge and Hunk's coordinated efforts to figure out a way to be able to charge them up, the same way they were able to work out how to use the video game console.

He was sitting on one of the couches in the common room, huddled up in a blanket and listening to the rain falling outside. It reminded him of his home, so that's why he had wanted, needed even, to see his relative's faces.

He laughed looking at a selfie his little sister had taken at a weird angle, making an exaggerated duckface, smiled as he saw the pictures he took of his nephews, laughed again at the mock selfies he and his cousins had snapped up, and tears prickled his eyes as he looked at the photos he had taken at his family's christmas gathering.

As he looked through the pictures of his grandma he had taken at said gathering, he felt a presence behind him.

“What a magnificent creature.”

Lance yelped and jumped out of his seat, nearly dropping his phone that he miraculously happened to catch in mid-air and mid-fall. He turned around, still startled, to find Slav standing behind the couch.

“Slav ?” Lance asked, baffled. “What are you-why are you here, and what do you mean by “magnificent creature” ?”

“Oh, I was just passing by. There was a 21 percent chance a Gnarsh would be in this room, it was low but I felt the need to check. You're never too sure.”

“A Gnarsh ?” Lance repeated. “What is it, a monster ?”

At that moment, Coran entered the room, a device in hand.

“Oh, no, it's a really fluffy creature from that planet, a carnivore, and a voracious one at that, but it's still really affectionate. It needs to be in order to find naive prey to feed on.” Coran answered him, already heading out of the room. “They hate the rain and try to find warm and dry places, even if they're inhabited. They produce the most delicious of milks, so we wanted to find one.We let one of the castle's entrances open for one to come take shelter here, but it seems we're down on our luck. Welp, I'll be looking in the med bay. Carry on.”

Lance looked at him go and had to shake his head at the two's antics. Though a feeling of dread overcame him as he realized the implications of letting that kind of creature inside, especially since he hadn't been warned, and was pretty sure the others weren't as well.

“Um … Slav ? Isn't that a little dangerous ?” He asked the alien.

“No, not at all. Not for you, I mean.” Slav shook his head. “There's a 6.4 percent chance the Gnarsh will choose you as prey in this reality. Now if we're talking about other realities, there's-”

“Alright, alright, what about the others, my friends ?” Lance asked, wanting to know if he had to warn them.

“Well, the green one is as safe as you are, the princess too … however ...”

“However what ?” Lance tried to ask as gently as possible, losing his patience.

“The red and yellow ones have a high chance of being a Gnarsh's next meal, with respectively 63 and 60 percent.” Slav said proudly.

Lance gasped and ran out of the room, and started actively searching for both his best friend and his best rival.

 

* * *

 

Hunk was cooking a meal in the kitchen, humming to himself. He loved cooking at all times, but rainy days were the best. It reminded him of his very first cooking lessons with his grandma, who distracted him from boredom by making him help her with the meals. It always cheered him up and put a fond and nostalgic smile on his face.

He missed his grandma, and the rest of his family, and cooking made him feel like he was back home, cooking for them, and making his grandma proud. He could picture her bright smile so clearly, even if he was so far away now, somewhere in the vastness of space.

He was pulled out of his daydreaming when he heard small noises coming from behind the main table.

Intrigued by the sounds, he asked if someone was there, but when there were no responses, he stopped what he was doing, dried his hands and carefully approached the source of the noise.

He had thought it may have been one of his friends pulling a prank on him, or that one of the aliens of this planet had gotten lost and wandered in there, but to his surprise it was none of that, as he came face to face with a weird creature making cute little strangled cries.

The thing he was next to looked extremely soft and fluffy, and he had to restrain himself from petting it. It had huge round eyes that were looking at him like a puppy would, and little webbed paws. It looked like a ball of fluff with a little wagging tail, and Hunk found it adorable.

“Hey little guy.” He said, crouching in front of the creature. “How did you get there ? I thought all the castle's entrances were locked because of the rain ? … Man, you're cute.”

The creature made another high pitched noise, and Hunk melted, reaching out to pet its fur. However, the moment his hand touched it, the thing opened its mouth, revealing an enormous amount of razor sharp teeth. Hunk recoiled in fear and was going to exit the kitchen room and lock it from the outside when he felt something warm and wet on his hand, right before a sharp pain engulfed said hand, as well as his mind.

The creature had launched its tongue at him. It looked like a plunger and apparently had teeth too. Really, really painful teeth.

“Aaaah ! You're not so cute anymore ! Ow, ow, ow !”

Hunk cried in pain and tried to shake the tongue off, but the creature had a strong grip on him, and everytime he tried to pull it away from his skin the painful sensation came back twice as hard.

He was about to try and get it off again when he heard a blast, and then the pained cry coming from the creature, whose tongue had finally detached from his skin, leaving a bright red mark. He turned around and saw his friend standing in the doorframe, his gun still fuming from the shot.

“Lance ! Buddy, I'm so glad you're here !” He said as he took his friend in a bone crushing hug. “I thought that thing was gonna eat me ! That's like, one of my biggest fears !”

“It was, Hunk. That's a Gnarsh, by the way.”

“Seriously ?!” Hunk said, incredulous, as he looked at the tiny creature writhing in pain on the floor. “Why is it in the castle ?”

“Coran and Slav opened one of the castle's entrances. That thing probably went through then. They were looking for one, so I guess they'll be happy to know there's one in the kitchen right now.” Lance explained to him, before looking at Hunk's hand. “Are you alright ?”

“Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry, it's just a scratch. But Coran and Slav's plan may be compromised because … there's no Gnarsh in the kitchen anymore.” Hunk deadpanned.

“What ?!” Lance looked at him like he had insulted his mother, before looking around and seeing for himself that Hunk was right. The creature was gone. “Oh, you've got to be kidding me ...”

“Where d'you think it went ? The common room ? The med bay ? The pool ? Our rooms ?” Hunk listed off all the main places of the castle where there could be food lying around, counting with his fingers, but stopped when he heard Lance gasp.

“The training room !” He said, as he took Hunk's arm and led him to said room.

“Wait, what ? Why would it go there, there's nothing to eat there- Oh wait, Keith.” Hunk realized, as he sped up his pace to match Lance's.

 

* * *

 

Keith was slashing through a bunch of training gladiator bots, not thinking of anything other than his stance and his opponents' moves. He had been going there more regularly, feeling way better everytime he ended his training sessions. Those were beginning to last longer and longer, as they allowed him not to think about Shiro's disappearance, or his doubts. And he had a lot of doubts. He knew Shiro had wanted him to become a leader in his stead should anything happen to him, that he thought he could do it, but Keith knew himself. He knew Shiro had been wrong, but the others had wanted to respect his wishes, and that's how he found himself in a position he had feared to be in. He didn't mind having responsabilities of his own, being the red paladin had already given him some, but being the leader of Voltron was a whole new level.

So far, nothing major had happened, but that didn't mean Keith could sleep with a clear mind, in fact, he had barely gotten any sleep, when he did it was usually because he passed out on a couch, or on the training room's floor, or in other random places.

For some reasons, he had gradually started to wake up in his bed more often, though he never had any recollection of going to his room in the first place. He often brushed it off, but he was starting to find this odd.

For the moment however, he was brushing it off, along with all his other usual thoughts. He stopped the sword of one of the last gladiators left and sent it flying across the room, allowing himself to cheer.

He was about to take one of the two other droids when he heard footsteps coming his way. Sighing, he ordered the computer to pause the training sequence, and turned around, putting both hands on his hips and tapping his foot slightly, not caring that the others saw how annoyed he was at them interrupting his alone time.

The door opened and let Hunk and Lance in, who looked panicked and didn't look at him but the room. Keith felt his annoyance decreasing and simply looked at them weird, waiting for them to explain exactly what they were doing. He was about to voice his question when he felt a sharp and numbing pain in his back, that sent him to the ground. He heard the other two boys gasp and yell in panick. Keith tried to get whatever got him in the back off of him, and grabbed at something wet and sticky, which only made the pain worse.

“Keith, don't move.” Lance calmly ordered him.

Keith did as he was told and heard Lance shoot at something behind him. The pain was gone almost instantly, and he got up and ran to his friends, allowing himself to look back at what attacked him once he got to their level. He was surprised to see a furry creature shouting in pain as it rolled on the ground, and even more when he saw both Hunk and Lance looking at it with a murderous glare.

Once they were sure the Gnarsh wasn't going anywhere, they relaxed, Hunk still keeping his eyes on the creature, while Lance looked at Keith.

Said boy was taken aback by the worry and care in Lance's eye, and just looked back at him like he wasn't sure he was real or a figment of his imagination. He then saw Lance opening his mouth to talk, but didn't get what he had just said to him.

He composed himself and stuttered a small “Um, what ?”

“I said, are you okay ?” Lance repeated himself, still looking at him with his vibrant blue eyes.

“Oh … yeah, yeah, I'm okay. No worries.” Keith said, even though his back still hurt.

“Guys.” Hunk chimed in.

“What is it, Hunk ?” Lance said, turning around to look at him, and Keith wondered why he had just felt a pang of disappointment right then. “There might be trouble. Again.”

As he was saying that, the Gnarsh got back on its paws and started attacking Kaltenecker, as the cow had been wandering in the corridors and wounding up in different places, and at the moment it had come inside the training room.

The cow tried to stomp the Gnarsh away, but the vile creature wouldn't budge. Lance sighed again in anger and shouted “Tongues off my cow !” before shooting at it yet another time. This time, however, the Gnarsh didn't waste time in whimpering and howling out in pain, and dashed out of the room, the three paladins following closely behind, while Kaltenecker made its way out, seemingly unphased by the whole event, and wandered away yet again, probably looking for the buckets of food they had placed all over the castleship.

The paladins tried to corner the Gnarsh as many times as possible, but it always failed. Who knew that a creature with legs so tiny could run so fast.

At one point, they had to stop as they were all short on breath, and Keith's injury on his back was more serious than Hunk's. Keith argued he could still keep up, but the other two told him they could manage, and that he'd be more useful if he could alert the others of the presence of the Gnarsh.

With a huff and a pout Lance teased him for, Keith went on his way, as Lance and Hunk took back the chase.

Several attempts and fails after, the Gnarsh still wasn't captured or stopped, and seemed to have stuck its tongue on yet another prey, that happened to have been Rover II.

“Now I just need to adjust this setting aaand … done ! Gotcha, you stinky, kinda cute, beast !” Came Pidge's triumphant voice, as the Gnarsh was desperately trying to get its tongue off the surface of the droid.

“Good job, Pidge.” Keith said as he put his hand on her shoulder.

“Meh, it was nothing.” She said proudly as she readjusted her glasses.” Oh, hey, Lance and Hunk are here.”

“Aww, I wanted to capture it.” Hunk whined before congratulating Pidge.

“Well I don't care who captured it, I'm just glad it's not running around freely anymore.” Lance said, glaring daggers at the creature, but retreating behind Keith as it made a move towards him.

“What the quiznak is a Gnarsh doing in the castle ?” Came Allura's booming voice.

“I dunno, why don't you ask Coran ?” Hunk said, pouting while looking at his hand that was still red.

Allura didn't wait for more explanations and furiously went to the common room, followed closely by the rest of the paladins.

 

* * *

 

“Well, it looks like it will stop raining, that's a bummer.” Coran sighed. “I really hoped we could get that Gnarsh so we could-”

“So that we could what ?” Allura asked calmly, though her stance was anything but calm.

“A-Allura, I uh, Slav and I were just ...”

“Looking for Gnarsh's milk.” Slav finished.

Allura dropped the somewhat calm act and went on to lecture the two about not warning anyone of their little plan that could have ended up worse than it did, and for such a futile thing too.

The paladins were off to the side, thunderstruck, and also a little scared of Allura.

“Futile ? This is anything but futile ! This is Gnarsh's milk we're talking about! We haven't had some in so long !” Coran argued.

“That's still futile !” Allura retorted.

This went on for a while, before Pidge spoke up.

“Couldn't you have gotten, like, another kind of milk ? I mean, we have a quiznaking cow on the ship.”

“Absolutely not !” Coran pouted. “The taste of Gnarsh's milk is divine ! No other drink could measure up to it !”

“Man, now I want to try it.” Hunk said, nearly drooling.

“Well, I guess that can be arranged. After all, we did get that little guy.” Lance said, trying to poke at it.

“I'm afraid not.” Slav said.

“What ? How ?” Pidge asked.

“It's a female.” Coran precised.

“And ?” Hunk asked, not really getting it, but so did the others.

“Only the male Gnarsh produce milk ...” Coran explained, sighing.

“You mean we went through all this trouble for nothing ?!” Lance practically yelled.

“Well, yes ?” Coran hesitated, flinching under Allura's glare. “ But look at the bright side of things ! You just got a one of a kind training to deal with intruders !”

The paladins gave out a collective groan, and Allura asked Coran to join her at the main deck, so they both left the room. The others decided to leave it be and go back to their previous occupations. However, as Keith was making his way out with the training room in mind, Lance grabbed him by the arm and forced him to sit on one of the couches.

“Hey ! What do you think you're doing !” Keith protested.

“Preventing you to wear yourself out and pass out on the floor, again.” Lance simply said, plopping down on the couch next to him.

“How do you-”

“Who do you think carries your sleeping butt to your bed every time ?” Lance said with a smirk. Keith blushed at that, both from embarassement of showing weakness, and from something else he couldn't pinpoint.

“I don't care.” He said firmly. “I have to train anyway.” He tried to get up but Lance grabbed at him again. Keith could have easily shook him off, but let himself fall back on the couch instead, pouting, before groaning at the pain he felt in his back.

“No you don't. Besides, your back is hurt, as I'm sure you just remembered.” Lance scolded him.

Keith was about to retort with something he hoped was witty enough it would make Lance shut up, but yelled and shot up, bayard ready, as Slav came up behind him with a “You know, there was a 72 percent chance the Gnarsh would have gone for his face.”

“Oh, hey Slav. Still creeping up on people chilling on couches.” Lance smiled at him, silently praying he wouldn't make an habit out of it, and went to try and coax Keith into sitting back again, which he did, though he still shot some side glances at Slav.

“By the way, you were right about the Gnarsh earlier. It is a magnificent creature, vile, but magnificent.” Lance said, taking up a more comfortable position in the couch, subconciously leaning closer to Keith.

“What ? Oh, no, I hadn't been talking about the Gnarsh.” Slav said.

“Uh ? What creature were you talking about then ?” Lance asked, baffled.

“The one in the picture.” The alien said with a dreamy look. “Truly magnificent. I rarely have come across someone this beautiful in my life. There's actually a 98 percent chance that ...”

Lance shut off Slav's rambling and tried to search through his mind what picture Slav could have been referring to this morning. Keith had been watching the exchange with interest, and was now looking at him as if he was trying to figure out what he was thinking. Then it came back to him and he couldn't help the look of pure horror that was slowly making its way on his face, and Keith seemed to get worried at that.

“You-” He tried to say though it came out sounding like the strangled cries of the Gnarsh.

He paused, Keith looked at him, concerned, and put his hand on Lance's arm. The boy gulped and found his voice again.

“You were talking about my **grandma** ?!” He almost shrieked out, startling both Keith and Slav.

“Oh, that was your grandma ? Well, she sure is lovely. Is she single in this reality ?” Slav inquired hopefully.

“W-what ?! No ! No she isn't !”

“Oh.” Slav said, and Lance almost felt sorry for him.”Could I at least have a look at the pictures ?”

“Nope. No no no. You're not touching my phone and falling in love with more people in my family.” Lance refused.

“Please ?” Slav asked, taking a step forward.

“No.” Lance said, backing away from him.

“Pretty please ?” Slav asked once again, snatching the phone from Lance's pocket, who groaned and swore under his breath, getting up to try and take it back from the alien. And failing. But he was determined to keep on trying until he couldn't feel his legs anymore, and promised Slav that if he broke his phone he'd kill him.

Keith had been laughing quietly the whole time, and was now huddled on the couch, silently cheering for Lance but not making a single move, a warm smile on his face, as the last of the rain drops made their way on the window.

 

**Author's Note:**

> _It's called a Gnarsh because of the strangled sounds it makes._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> So, yeah. I just wanted to practice writing Slav a bit for another upcoming fic, and this happened.  
> I'm not really happy with what I wrote, but then again, maybe after season 3 I'll be able to write Slav better. I hope. Slav will still be in season 3, right ? Right ? ...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed what you just read, have a nice day !


End file.
